There's a lyric from a Radiohead song that perfectly captures the wistfulness of lost love, the wistfulness of what could have been and might have been and should have been, if only. The lyric goes like this "I wish I could be who wanted, I wish I could who wanted." It so perfectly captures that bittersweetness, that aching sadness, that anguish of longing for what might have been, if you or I could have been what we hoped each other would be for one another.
Read MoreI'm not with the term ‘New Year New You.’ I feel it’s a part of the cultural lexicon that suggests you aren’t good enough and that you should keep trading your money for corporate products and your attention for social influence all based on the vampiric illusion of macro-tribal inclusion. It also makes us second guess our intuition. That keeps us feeling incomplete, which keeps us yearning, which keeps us stuck.
Read MoreFor the last posting of 2017, I thought I would share a piece that I have found influential. The Great Wave off Kanagawa, by Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai (1760–1849). This print illustrates a massive wave threatening boats off the coast of Kanagawa Japan, with Mount Fuji in the background. Interpretation can be as simple or complex as you want, you choose the adventure. Nietzsche said, “There are no facts, only interpretations,” some believe The Great Wave is depicting the force of a tsunami, a rogue wave, or the fishermen’s struggle with the sea. Others have said it is symbolic of the western idea’s and values overtaking Japan while others maintain it is to show how the Japanese can overcome their obstacles and persevere through the dangers of the world. The real question though, is what do you see when you look at?
Read MoreAs men, we are always seeking ways to become the best person we can or simply said, become Black Belts in our loved passions. Some men take this literal in the sense of martial arts. Some prefer sports knowledge while other pursue changing their physical form through diet or exercise. There are those that optimize their brain to work at its fullest ability, others may read for knowledge. Needless to say, we are for the most part trying to improve something about ourselves.
By nature, our monkey brains see all men as competition for local resources. Those resources can range from the most basic of comforts to attitude, strength, or determination. The highest level of competition typically culminates in attracting, sustaining, or maintaining the women around us and in our lives.
Read MoreDon’t stress. Do your very best. Appreciate each step. Forget the rest. Stress is one of the primary causes of major health problems in our lives: it can cause heart disease, anxiety, sleep deprivation, auto-immune disorders, weight problems, unhappiness, and even deep depression. But we’re busy – we all have places to be, things to do and people to see. So how do we alleviate stress and still get our work done right (without neglecting our loved ones and ourselves)? When life gets crazy busy, you might not have time for week-long meditation and yoga retreats, weekend vacations, or even weekly life coaching sessions. So what can be done?
Read MoreMahayana Buddhists do not aspire to enlightenment purely to free themselves from suffering; they do so out of compassion to liberate other sentient beings. Adam Yauch on understanding Bodhisattva and having a path said: "I think, of the bodhisattva path is doing what most benefits the totality of the universe, of all that is. And when you put yourself out there in a way that you aren’t really functional, then that is not going to most benefit the universe. You know, it’s just trying to get a feel, in your heart, for what’s going to most benefit the interconnectedness of all that is."
Read MoreChanging negative self-talk can be a challenge many us may not even know we are a willing participant in, which I am just as guilty as the next. Every day some or most of us avoid looking in the mirror or focus on the routine we are completing, not once stopping to look at ourselves or this total stranger that appears at specific times of the day or through casual peripheral glances.None of us are immune to the self-doubt and negative self-talk of our lives. Nevertheless, open up a conversation and ask what other people think of you. Start taking compliments seriously and don't let them pass or wave them away. Especially don't deflect these compliments with your discounting negative talk a taking As my friend would say, "Isn't it what I think you think you are."
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