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Photo by Uknown

Photo by Uknown

Two Stages of Gratitude

According to Dr. Robert Emmons, the feeling of gratitude involves two stages (2003):

  1. First comes the acknowledgment of goodness in one’s life. In a state of gratitude, we say yes to life. We affirm that all in all, life is good, and has elements that make it not just worth living, but rich with texture and detail. The acknowledgment that we have received something gratifies us, both by its presence and by the effort the giver put into choosing it.
  2. Second, gratitude is recognizing that some of the sources of this goodness lie outside the self. At this stage, the object of gratitude is other-directed; one can be grateful to other people, to animals, and to the world, but not to oneself. At this stage, we recognize not only the goodness in our lives, but who is to thank for it, and who have made sacrifices so that we could be happy.

The two stages of gratitude comprise the recognition first of the goodness in our lives, and then of the source of that goodness that lies outside of ourselves. By this process, we recognize everything and everyone that makes us who we are in our best moments.

Purpose of Gratitude

People can use gratitude to form new social relations or to build upon and make current ones better.

Acts of gratitude can be used to apologize, make amends or help solve other problems people may face.

Alternatively, people may feel gracious because it can be an intrinsically rewarding process. Simply being grateful for being alive is a great way to motivate oneself to seize the day. The idea that tomorrow is not guaranteed is a strong motivator for some people.

 

Why Gratitude Works

Gratitude is a selfless act. Gratitude acts are done unconditionally to show to people that they are appreciated, not because people are looking for something in return; however, that is not to say that people do not return the favor. Gratitude can be contagious, in a good way.

Catharsis

One concept that fits well into the blueprint of gratitude is a catharsis.

Catharsis is the process in which an individual releases strong emotions.  For example, after a stressful or traumatic event, crying provides a means for such a strong release; thus, rendering the activity cathartic.

It is in a similar fashion that catharsis works with gratitude.  To illustrate this, consider the following.

The guilt associated with failing to meet obligations may cause a person to show gratitude to another whom they have let down, in an attempt to release that guilt. The acts following that event are meant to show the deep appreciation that the friends have for each other.

Additionally, in a more solitary way, possessions left from passed loved ones may provide a sense of serenity that enables the new owner to reflect with gratitude on that object. The use of gratitude serves as an agent of catharsis, and both parties feel satisfied in the end. Which is a pretty good segue into the other reason that gratitude works.

Reciprocity

The other possible explanation of how gratitude functions is reciprocity.  Reciprocity, a concept that originated from social psychology, is about the exchanging of actions.

In regard to gratitude, it is the exchange of positive emotion.  Someone performs an act of gratitude for another person, and in turn, that person may be motivated to do something gracious for the former person or continue the favor for a stranger.  

After all, acts of gratitude aren’t only for people that you know! A common contemporary phrase that people are familiar with is, “paying it forward.”

Though paying it forward does not obligate you to reciprocate if you cannot, but it does spread positivity via gratitude.

Author Unknown
Source Positive Psychology